1. My name is Alisha
2. My middle name is Jayne.
3. I have the most German sounding last name that you will EVER hear. Ok, maybe not.
4. I was born April 21, after being a month late and almost dying.
5. I have a brother who is 2 years and 7 months younger than me.
6. My father died when I was 5 from complications of drugs and alcohol. He was an alcoholic and drug addict. He died the day after his 33rd birthday.
7. My mom held me back in 4th grade because I had a 'D' in math.
8. My mom got remarried 6 months after my dad died and I resented her for it for a very long time.
9. My dad wanted to name me Jayne after Jayne Mansfield, but my mom said it was to plain so it became my middle name. HUGE DOWNER!
10. I graduated high school with a 3.6 GPA
11. I have a sister who is 46 (47 in May)
12. I have a brother who is 42. (43 in August)
13. I have 3 nephews. 25, 22, and 3.
14. I curse a lot. I mean A LOT!!!
15. I'm afraid of failing.
16. My all time favorite actress is Judy Garland. She is the best!
17. I despise rap music.
18. I mainly listen to music from before 1970.
19. I want to live in NYC in the next year.
20. I was in a bad car accident 7 years ago and had a really bad concussion from it that kept me out of school for some time.
21. My 21st birthday sucked.
22. I never say "I Love You"back to people when they say it to me. Nor will I say it first.
23. I am not good in relationships. When I feel things are getting too close I end the relationship. I have commitment issues.
24. I have an absolute fear of heights. I can't even stand on a step ladder without freaking out.
25. I have a fear of whipped cream. Yes, whipped cream.
26. I am extremely hard headed and will not listen to anyone.
27. I have a horrible temper when its provoked. My mom says I get it from my father. If I get pissed off you better watch the hell out.
28. Other than anger I really don't show emotions. I mean yes I'll laugh but who doesn't. I never cry. I have a brick wall that's so high that if it ever gets knocked down I'll have to put in an institute.
29. My mom is also a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober for 19 years now. i don't drink a lot because of my parents history with alcohol.
30. I am afraid to have kids because I don't want to be like my mom with my kids.
31. No matter how hard I try nothing is ever good enough.
32. There is so much I want to do in my life that I don't know where to start.
33. I own over 200 DVD's.
34. I love to read and will basically read anything.
35. I love to write, but I am currently having writers block.
36. This isn't as hard as I thought it would be.
37. I went to Catholic School for 9 years.
38. I hated going to public school and wish I had gone to catholic high school.
39. I try to be a good friend, but I don’t know how I’m doing at it.
40. Ok, maybe this is harder than I thought it would be.
41. I have known my best friend for 18 years.
42. I went to Minnesota last summer without telling anyone in my family.
43. I’m pretty sure that when I move out I will never go home unless its for a holiday or an emergency.
44. I am a very random person. Just ask Sarah (Ilovethemountains) who talks to me a lot.
45. I am super sensitive to coffee and even one cup will keep me up all night.
46. I don’t have a close relationship with my mom and never have.
47. I try to live life to the fullest.
48. I’ve had a lot of celebrity encounters in my life.
49. Liza Minnelli always makes me laugh and puts me in a good mood when I am angry.
50. Lorna Luft is the first real celebrity I ever met. If you don’t know who she is then you suck!
51. I basically love all crime shows. Law & Order: SVU is my all-time favorite.
52. Musicals are the best kind of movies.
53. Vincente Minnelli had a HUGE impact in my life and directed 3 of my favorite movies as a child.
54. I was about 2 years old when I first saw “The Wizard of Oz” and that’s when all hell broke loose.
55. I kind of hate talking about myself.
56. I am currently re-obsessed with “I Love Lucy”
57. I love classic TV.
58. I am a great aunt at 23 years old.
59. I have a cat who is my life. He is the best cat ever.
60. I am closer to a few people I’ve met online then I am with people I know in real life.
61. I try to not judge people on their appearance and more or their personality. I’ve become A LOT better with age.
61. I believe in equal rights for everyone.
62. I am very liberal.
63. I am a smoker and I need to quit…..for good.
64. I’ve never been to the SVU set and I don’t see it happening this season. (Considering they are almost done filming.)
65. I miss having a dog and I wish I was able to get another one.
66. Tomorrow (March 21st) is a month until my 24th birthday.
67. I don’t see me making it to 100 facts about me because I am getting tired of it now.
68. I am the biggest bullshitter you will ever meet.
69. I hate when people take me seriously.
70. I am a class clown.
71. I was extremely shy until I was about 17 years old. Now I have no volume level.
72. I am currently watching Shameless. It’s freaking hilarious! I love it.
73. I hate when people say pop and not soda.
74. I hate living in Delaware. I think its boring.
75. People tend to tell me that I have big boobs. I do not approve of this.
76. I thought that I was 5’3” for the longest time, and then last year I found out that I am actually 5.5”. It was a HUGE moment in my life. lol
77. I do not approve of racism or any kind.
78. My mom was in labor with me for 47 hours. Lol
79. All the big male family members in my family died by the time I was 15. My great grandfather outlived both of my grandfathers.
80. I hate what people’s voices sound like when they first wake up.
81. I HATE SNORING!
82. I will never become use to the cold weather even though I live in Delaware where we have normal seasons.
83. “Designing Woman” was better than “The Golden Girls” even though I loved both shows.
84. I will not hold back. I will tell you off in a second.
85. I always know where everything is. Whether its mine or not. I just always pay attention to my surroundings.
86. I am in desperate need of new glasses. I haven’t had new glasses in 7 years.
87. I was born in 1987.
88. Eventhough I am 23 people always think that I am no older than 18 or they think that I am older than 25. People suck at telling peoples ages.
89. My longest relationship with a guy is 2 months and that wasn’t all at one time.
90. WOOTWOOT! 10 more to go.
91. I drive a 2005 SXT Limited Edition Dodge Neon.
92. My first car was a 1997 Chevy Cavalier.
93. I met one of my best friends in the guidance counselors office when I was in 8th grade.
94. I played basketball when I was in 6th grade.
95. I took ballet when I was younger for about 2 years and I wish that I was able to continue it.
96. I use to be able to ice skate and roller skate and now I can’t do either.
97. I am extremely clumsy and will trip over air and run into anything.
98. Even my closest friends don’t know everything about me.
99. I took piano for 2 years, but I quit when I couldn’t learn to read music.
100. I never thought that I would be able to come up with 100 facts about me. It took me 2 hours, but I did it and that is a HUGE accomplishment!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Learning From The Past
I'm not going to say I had the best childhood and I'm not going to say I had the worst. It falls somewhere in the middle. I had a purgatory childhood. I seriously feel like I was in limbo as a kid. My parents (mom and step-dad) were very strict. They both had bad tempers and no patience for my brother and I. If you did one thing out of line, it was over. Don't even think about spilling a glass of milk at the dinner table because all hell will break loose. Can you imagine being about 4 and spilling your milk and both of your parents start screaming at you? It's called an accident for a reason!
Whenever my brother and I would get in trouble we would get EVERYTHING taken away along with being put in timeout. So, we'd get timeout for however long they thought was necessary, grounded for however long they felt was necessary, (pretty sure I'm still grounded) phone, TV, radio, and anything else they could take a way was taken away. We weren't even allowed to sit on our beds when we weren't sleeping. By the way, I am laying on my bed while typing this.
It's no secret that my mom and I don't have the best relationship. We have our moments, but most of the time we are yelling at each other and hating each other. No matter what I do, it's wrong. Its been like that for as long as I can remember. No matter what my brother did, it was always my fault. My parents were also big on smacking. Parents were actually allowed to do that once. I'm not going to say how bad it was, but one can imagine. Rings on fingers don't connect well with teeth when you are little.
As I've gotten older I wonder if my parents thought this is how you build character in children. By strict parenting and making you child or children act like adults when they aren't. What I've learned from this is, that its not normal to parent like this. I have friends who have AMAZING relationships with their parents. I'm not going to lie. I'm jealous of this. I wish I had an amazing relationship with my parents. My step-dad and I get along fine now, but from the time I was 5-17 we hated each other and neither of us hid it from the other. I think I resented him because he was trying to be my father and thats not what I wanted. I actually wanted to have my father here. No child should lose a parent so young or at any age. I often wonder what it would be like he was still alive. Would he be sober or would he be doing the same shit that killed him almost 19 years ago.
Anyway, my one step at a time theory is......take what you have learned and use it to make you grow. I have used my childhood to allow me to NOT make the same mistakes as my parents did. I will not be the parent that they were. I will allow my children (if I am able to have them) to be children. Children are meant to make mistakes and they learn from them. You have to give them the space to grow and learn.
Along with all of this my mom also made me into a very independent person. I do thank her for that because I don't want anyone telling me what to do. I enjoy being on my own and not being tied down.
Lastly, I leave you with this quote. "The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can." - Robert Cushing
<3 AJ
Whenever my brother and I would get in trouble we would get EVERYTHING taken away along with being put in timeout. So, we'd get timeout for however long they thought was necessary, grounded for however long they felt was necessary, (pretty sure I'm still grounded) phone, TV, radio, and anything else they could take a way was taken away. We weren't even allowed to sit on our beds when we weren't sleeping. By the way, I am laying on my bed while typing this.
It's no secret that my mom and I don't have the best relationship. We have our moments, but most of the time we are yelling at each other and hating each other. No matter what I do, it's wrong. Its been like that for as long as I can remember. No matter what my brother did, it was always my fault. My parents were also big on smacking. Parents were actually allowed to do that once. I'm not going to say how bad it was, but one can imagine. Rings on fingers don't connect well with teeth when you are little.
As I've gotten older I wonder if my parents thought this is how you build character in children. By strict parenting and making you child or children act like adults when they aren't. What I've learned from this is, that its not normal to parent like this. I have friends who have AMAZING relationships with their parents. I'm not going to lie. I'm jealous of this. I wish I had an amazing relationship with my parents. My step-dad and I get along fine now, but from the time I was 5-17 we hated each other and neither of us hid it from the other. I think I resented him because he was trying to be my father and thats not what I wanted. I actually wanted to have my father here. No child should lose a parent so young or at any age. I often wonder what it would be like he was still alive. Would he be sober or would he be doing the same shit that killed him almost 19 years ago.
Anyway, my one step at a time theory is......take what you have learned and use it to make you grow. I have used my childhood to allow me to NOT make the same mistakes as my parents did. I will not be the parent that they were. I will allow my children (if I am able to have them) to be children. Children are meant to make mistakes and they learn from them. You have to give them the space to grow and learn.
Along with all of this my mom also made me into a very independent person. I do thank her for that because I don't want anyone telling me what to do. I enjoy being on my own and not being tied down.
Lastly, I leave you with this quote. "The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can." - Robert Cushing
<3 AJ
My Nutshell: Fears
Some things everyone should know about me....
- I was born a month late and almost died when my mom was in labor.
- I was in a terrible car accident when I was 17 and I suffer from memory loss.
- I am extremely hard headed and will not listen to anyone.
- I will not take pain medicine unless I have too. Fear of becoming an addict like my father.
- I have a horrible temper when its provoked. My mom says I get it from my father. If I get pissed off you better watch the hell out.
- Other than anger I really don't show emotions. I mean yes I'll laugh but who doesn't. I never cry. I have a brick wall that's so high that if it ever gets knocked down I'll have to put in an institute.
- My father died when I was 5 from complications of drugs and alcohol. He was an alcoholic and drug addict. He died the day after his 33rd birthday.
- My mom is also a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober for 19 years now.
- I have an absolute fear of heights. I can't even stand on a step ladder without freaking out.
- I have a fear of whipped cream. Yes, whipped cream.
- I am not good in relationships. When I feel things are getting too close I end the relationship. I have commitment issues.
- My mom has never shown any real affection towards me so in return I don't really know how to show it.
- I never say "I Love You" back to people when they say it to me. Nor will I say it first.
- My mom always tells me that I am exactly like my father. Except for my temper and my looks I am nothing like him.
- I am afraid to have kids because I don't want to be like my mom with my kids.
- My mom married my step-dad only 7 months after my dad died and I still resent her for it.
- No matter how hard I try nothing is never good enough.
- I am afraid that I will never go anywhere in life.
<3 AJ
- I was born a month late and almost died when my mom was in labor.
- I was in a terrible car accident when I was 17 and I suffer from memory loss.
- I am extremely hard headed and will not listen to anyone.
- I will not take pain medicine unless I have too. Fear of becoming an addict like my father.
- I have a horrible temper when its provoked. My mom says I get it from my father. If I get pissed off you better watch the hell out.
- Other than anger I really don't show emotions. I mean yes I'll laugh but who doesn't. I never cry. I have a brick wall that's so high that if it ever gets knocked down I'll have to put in an institute.
- My father died when I was 5 from complications of drugs and alcohol. He was an alcoholic and drug addict. He died the day after his 33rd birthday.
- My mom is also a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober for 19 years now.
- I have an absolute fear of heights. I can't even stand on a step ladder without freaking out.
- I have a fear of whipped cream. Yes, whipped cream.
- I am not good in relationships. When I feel things are getting too close I end the relationship. I have commitment issues.
- My mom has never shown any real affection towards me so in return I don't really know how to show it.
- I never say "I Love You" back to people when they say it to me. Nor will I say it first.
- My mom always tells me that I am exactly like my father. Except for my temper and my looks I am nothing like him.
- I am afraid to have kids because I don't want to be like my mom with my kids.
- My mom married my step-dad only 7 months after my dad died and I still resent her for it.
- No matter how hard I try nothing is never good enough.
- I am afraid that I will never go anywhere in life.
<3 AJ
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