There is really no purpose for this blog. I just feel like typing. Well, maybe there is a purpose. Every once in awhile I get in these moods where I don't want to be near anyone or anything. I really hate when I get in these moods because I don't know how to get out of them. These moods just hit me all of a sudden. I just want to stay in my room and do nothing. Not talk to anyone or do anything. My mom always tells me that she thinks I have depression and maybe she's right, I don't know. All I know right now is that I feel like I am annoying everyone and I am getting way too annoyed and being somewhat sensitive about somethings. I am also in a funk because I don't know where I am going in my life and I am 24 years old.
A few of my friends are graduating from 4 year colleges and I'm sitting here kicking myself because I could have graduated 2 almost 3 times in the 4 or 5 years they have been in college. (they are younger than me) I would like to go back to school so I am not in some crap job for the rest of my life, but you have to have money for that and you have to be approved for college loans and I don't qualify for financial aid. I just feel like a huge disappointment to my family, because here I am at 24 and I've done nothing.
Maybe moving to NYC next year will help me. Maybe I need a change of scenery. Who knows. Maybe one day it will hit me with what I REALLY want to do. Right now I want to do so many things and I haven't taken a step toward a damn thing.
Maybe I just need to go off the grid for a few days because I am trying to help and be there for so many people and I'm not doing anything for myself. Maybe I'm just being a baby about this whole thing. Maybe I should just end this entry and try again tomorrow. ....Maybe.
Later
